Had an amazing day of baking with SOCOOL!!!! i am so excited to make my first thanksgiving meal!!!

I have a friend lets say a mutual friend. Lets call her SHORT. Well SHORT is going out with DRAMA (a dramatic guy duh). I guess they were going out until this last week. Then DRAMA walked with me after one of our classes. We have been friends for a long time and i have always helped out with his girl toubles. so as we were walking he asked me if he could have my number i thought that it was to help him out with his girl touble or just to talk about SHORT. Then he asked me to meet him in an area of the school after school and so i did. He handed me a note and asked if he could txt me that night but of course i lost my phone (like always) so i could not txt him or he could txt me. Anyway he handed me a note and then we left. The note said that he had liked me for a long time and that he wanted to become more then friends fast! and soon! it was so strange to me that i told LEST and then ran to tell SOCOOL her boyfriend and BEAR. They were leaving at the time so i screamed SOCOOL as a ran around the people like a cray person!! then i through my stuff on the ground and cried into SOCOOL. Now dont take this so serioully it was funny and i dont want DRAMA to feel bad but i should probably tell SHORT. I sent a letter to DRAMA saying that i was in an off on relashionship with some other guy from a different town and that i didnt want to make things more complicated but i think i did! i have been listtening to LEST's i pod for a while 2 periods during the day and i listen to the same song over and over and over and over agiang! it is you are beautiful but james blunt it is the best of the best of the best!! i love it so much!!!! SOCOOL randomly punched me today and it made me laugh so hard!! it was crazy!!!!!!! ME and SOCOOL went to the last twilight tonight at 5 and it was so good! i had a competion before and this guy was there he is a senior on the football team and ever thing but he was at the competiton and then he was at the movie too weird huh? lol i loved the movie but it was so funny we sat way in the back and then some older people came and sat 1 row down and like 8 chairs away and about half way thorugh the movie the man started to snore!!! it was very very funny!! when the people started to fight in the movie i was really confuesed me and SOCOOL held hands becsue we were so nervous!!!!! lol i didnt read the last book becasue i hate hate hate having the book end for me it is the worst!!! but when it really didnt happen i was so happy!!!! i love alice! she is my favorite!!!!! i love love love love jacob too he is my faviorit guy he is so dang good lookin!!! me and SOCOOL love him! love love love lvoe lvoe love love love love him!!!! why cant i be a vampire????? i got new shamppor and the funny thing was it was volumizing but idnt do any voluminxing it mad my hair flater!!!
i want to marry bear today!

somethimes i feel so out of a group i cant stand it it is crazy i wish i could be more apart of some grups and be nice and happy and fun to be around, in debate we won 2 out of six debates which is terrible and just at the same time i started txting this guy from my past again so yeh thats exactly wiaht i want to be sad and have a boy being nice and sweeet to me so he can get in my head and take me away

this is one of thoses days i am just not myself anymore i love to be happy and excited for things but i am just not today  on  a better note in world history i was drawing my hand and had a bunch of rigns and stuff. I am not a good drawer at all but i like to draw so it looked like a three year old did it but anyway (COLORS doesnt like it when i say anyways!!!) i had a ring around my left ring finger and of course BEAR had to  make a joke about me never being able to get engaged any way. I took it as a joke as it was ment to be but of course was terribly mad at BEAR for the rest of the day. Evern keeping a paper away froom him that CORNAL was (i think) writhing to SOCOOL. the first few words were i am sorry  for.... so i am pretty sure that it was to SOCOOL

A couple of my friends have been dating, lets call them EMOTIONAL and SEVENTEEN. EMOTIONAL is dealing wiith depression right now. he has been seeing a counceler his grades are now terrible and he is just a wrek. SEVENTEEN is have problems with her family too she has a sister now and just that i dont know what happened to her parents but now she is okay EMOTIONAL and all his girlfriends always seem to meet in the same spot as the years go on surprisingly i am jelous of EMOTIONAL becasue every year he had a new girlfirend i wish i could just have one. But anyway EOMOTIONAL andSEVENTEEN rescently broke up this weekend, i think that it was SEVENTEEN that did it but who knows. all i know is i saw them walking down the hallway together this afternoon....

i am so stressed out today i can't stand it! i have a headache, its a monday and i have not gotton my one and only assignment done! Also i had to go to a conformation meeting with my dad, he doesnt support me in this at all which is alright but i wish that even if he doesnt agree with every thing they say (i also do not beleive everything) he could still cheer me on. this is kinda like with my little sister, he didnt really cheer her on in softball and basketball until recently, she told me that he once had said that my mom had to take care of taking her to practice becasue thats the sports she liked to watch, i accually discussed this with him but he didnt take it seriously like ususal he told me i souldnt cry over such matters becasue when i get a job and my boss yells at me crying wont help whatever. Tommarow i have a debate so wont be home until very late that makes me happy oh yes and i get to clean my room becasue it is a disastor area and my dad has been saying for weeks and weeks and weeks that it must be cleaned even though i havent heard that for weeks and weeks and weeks, i have recently been very sad about my uncle dying oh about 4 months ago. at the time i wasnt too sad but as things come up with life like confermation where i need a sponsor and just talking about family memebers i feel sad and we werent close or anything but i am so sad that we are not able to do stuff together....it is almost kind of selfish

I feel so alone sometimes. I don't really have anyone. Yes i have friends and family but not some one. it is probably because of my extreme pickyness and my resistance to BS but i need someone. In the past all i would look for is something wrong with someone but now i wish i wont have. now i don't have anyone "after" me. one of my good friends tells me that she cant believe that i don't have any and all guys but i think guys see me as scary. Not as i shouldn't get in to that that's dangerous but that will hurt me (not physically) she already has. I am very judge mental and can be mean when i see that a guy is coming on to me. i don't understand why i do but i do....

It was so funny this morning. SOCOOL's sister stayed over with my little sister and when i went to get the computer she kinda woke up and looked at me funny. she must have been a sleep so i waved at her and she waved back! funny....Then my mom wanted a large package of  pie crust mix for baking so she gave my dad directions to do just that. so it took him an hour to finally call my mom and ask how big a large pie crust was because they only had one size. My mom told him to get a package that made 2 pies and he said well can i just buy 2 pie crusts then. for this whole time he thought she wanted an actual pie crust not a package of mix.

As i finish off my little mini trip i think i should have done a little better practice, but what is done is done..........and there always is a next time!

Today we went out to eat and when i went into the bathroom a woman was going into the stall and it went aaaaawwwwwaaaaawwwwawwaaa. then i went into mine that did not have the aaaawwwwwaaaaawwwwwaaa and was like yeah i am cool. but then as the woman came out the sink was right in front of my stall so she was all like looking at me pee weird huh? and then as i went out i tried to get some soap but the soap dispenser on the wall fell out into my hand!!! What a terrible bathroom experience. Oh wait i take that back i just thought of something worse.....

How can we live like we are dying? We are already dying..... every minute, every second of every day ......I figured it out !!! when people say you should live like you are dying you simply live the way you already are and you'll be living like you are dying. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

I just want to go home!!!!

what is up with my ife nothing funny is ever happening i just dont know.....but this morning i was feeling great just great!!! i cant even explain it it was amazing......and no i was not high the only thing i have ever been high on is life......and thats a good thing.

new friend i remembered


HAIR- She is very nice but like to complain and not do any work we are friends like just friends we make each other laugh most of the time but right now she is gossipping alot and slowly our friendship is going away she has black hair

i am really sore, i am getting the feeling i did at the women's shoot and i don't like it. i have TOM right now so that may make a difference but who knows. i am shooting well point wise but could be shooting better. i am hoping that i am not going through. hopefully.

It is so cute to watch little girls shoot. As they go home i cant help but think about how they will dream of making the olympics and then marrying some prince that fell in love with her because of her talent. i know i dreamed about that with archery, the rodeo, math, swiming, dancing, singing, and of course just lookin good! If only......

I experience this weird thing when i am trying to do something that i am sure no one in the world has....My name is Golden and i am a procrastinator......

i am going to do some math.....yep math.

ANOREXIC wanted to come with but SOCOOL was coming and I couldn't fit any more in my car. but when SOCOOL couldn't come anymore i txted ANOREXIC but she got it too late. then she asked me when we were going again. then i said well you can go whenever you want to and she kinda took that bad but what ever i am fine with myself even if you are not!!! Any ways she got over it....

Today i drove to a place 2 hours away to shoot. To practice. To be golden. I will be here till 7 becasue they close then! then we will go out to eat somewhere fun!!! i wish SOCOOL could have came with but you know when you have bad grades you shouldnt be doing this fun stuff!!!

Another thing about me is I love old movies and shows including murder she wrote i love Lucy the Brady brunch and such. oh and some not so old shows like matlock that's one of my favorites!!! i love to watch them because they are just relaxing compared to more recent shows where it just seems so real and almost scary. i also love love love animal planet! almost every morning i watch big cat dairies and that guy named Steve! i absolutely love it!!!!! i wish they wont have those weird commericals about monsters inside me though they kinda freak me out!

I think this blog will be helpful for my social life because i am always talking about myself so now i can type about myself and not have to talk about my self.

Recently me and my debate partner went to a tournament an we went undefeated!! my debate partner is ANNE. She is supposed to write our pro case....it is two pages long my con case is 10 pages long. and the whole problem is she doesn't do any thing at all to help this whole problem of there being absolutely nothing to work with. i love debate now a days but my teacher wants us to go to every tournament but she doesn't understand how much archery takes up my life and she is kinda crazy.

i am and forever will be obseesed with mika. will i guess not mika but his songs they make me so so so happy!! and i mean dont get me wrong mika is an ok looking dude thats not why i wouldnt like him is just i dont like to like celebritys an stuff like that. but anyways his songs are great! i especially like the one bout big girls you are beautiful! ANOREXIC doesnt like it any more since she lost all that weight but for some reason whenever she is in my car it just happens to be playing. she is younger then me and when she lost the weight i had not seen her in about 3 months so she kept "hinting" at me to comment on her newly lost weight becasue i know that she had lost the weight for all the wrong reasons. She wanted boys to like her and girls to stop calling her fat. Personally i wish girls would call me fat instead of a bitch...which most girls dont call me.....I think.

Called SOCOOL today and screamed "I HATE YOU I WISH I DIDNT KNOW YOU" and then proceeded to tell her that becasue of her i had gotton my period early and was not happy with her. then she said she would make me brownies and i was all good

had all the people over to practice i will name them


ROOKIE young just started and quiet
ANOREXIC my good friend recently lost 30 lbs
SOCRAZYYOURPANTSWILLFALLOFF    ANORECTIC 's friend name says it all







And that's about it sorry i don't have anything else to say

Tommarow me and SOCOOL were going to travel to a place to practice but her parents saw her grades and so she cant go it just made me sick to my stomach becasue that means tommarow i will be all alone!!!! oh well i will live.

Why am I doing this? To maintain my sanity and as a way to express myself without hurting other people (yes I do care about others I just can't stand some people) It may take me a little longer to understand Chemistry and I might not be the best person on the debate team but I use my brain and I have a passion for learning and plan to go far. I am wanting to go to Rio in 2014 for the Olympics so mainly i will talk about that this will. Here is a list of the main people in my life. I won't give their names but make up some fun nicknames for them for your enjoyment and mine.
               SOCOOL- softball playerdoesn't put up with crap unusually before this last summer didn't have a life until she got a boyfriend loves. just younger then me one of my best friends crazy about being better then everybody but she  to speed  in her car because it is so cool
               CORNAL- SOCOOL's boyfriend wears camo and funny hats never wears jeans just cargo pants thinks he is right all the time flirts with me like crazy liked me first and then liked SOCOOL is ugly weighs less then me and I am a size 8very protective of SOCOOL but is very protective of me...too? crazy CORNAL is SOCOOL's first boyfriend so she is absolulye crazy about him she wants to marry him and lets just say we are too young to be talking bout this. but only SOCOOL talks about it not CORNAL.
                 BEAR   SOCOOL's friend thats a boy i like him as a friend he is bigger as in tall hes quiet but he is very very smart
               ANNOYANCEY (we will just call her ANNE) ANNE has been my friend for a while but resently she has become so annoying i cant stand it
               COLORER- My friend i would do anything for the greatest cant find a problem with her she has a nice boyfriend both band geeks she loves to color 
               HAM- COLORERS friend dumb doesn't try to be likes to complain alot i think it is to protect herself from looking dumb and irrelevant i used to do that she is called HAM because that's what she look like a huge ham
               LEST-LEST another girl is foreign and she makes me happy she is the best falls in love with guys too fast but she doesn't date so its all good we can argue and we are all good she loves Obama but doesn't really care for the American government loves to sing and loves the arts but her parents want her to be a super cool scientist i feel bad for her LEST because i think of lets be friends for some reason crazy!
           Q she is new to me she doesn't say much but she seems really nice eats lunch with me LEST and HAM and that's it it is kinda embarrassing
             GREAT- Just think the opposite when you read GREAT she is actually more annoying then ANNE can you believe it???


This is all that i can think of i will add more later!!!